Me? Naive?

I got called naive last night. Can  you believe it? ME? NAIVE?

Here's what happened (because I know you give a shit or you wouldn't be reading this): I said, "Call me naive but I believe in true love, no matter what, that I don't think true love ever dies and that it can overcome anything." So the other person said, "Okay, I will." (Call me naive, that is).

Maybe it is naive to have that idea at my age. I don't know. What I do know is, in 2006 I met someone with whom I felt an immediate connection, and almost irresistible pull. No, we did not fall into bed and live happily ever after. We were friends for a while, then we dated, then we moved in together. And then I got really sick and he moved to another apartment and I moved into psych units and sober houses until finally, after over a year, I found this house and moved here and I'm getting my shit together. But in that over a year and a half, I have never stopped loving this man. Not even a little bit. I get waves of anger, sometimes, at my having had to go alone through what I've been through the last 16 months, and I feel sad and I worry that we'll never get back to where we were, but I've never stopped loving. And I've never REALLY stopped believing that we won't be okay in the end, it's just going to take a little while for us to get back there. And the place we get to may probably even be better, because there will be more trust, more openness, more communication.

I believe love conquers all.

I believe that with all my heart.

And I believe that the person who called me naive for believing that is trying desperately to appear as cynical as possible in his efforts to avoid getting hurt. That makes me sad, because I'm the one who put him in that place. But I also think I can get him back out of that place. And keep him out. 

I refuse to stop believing that.