Monday, September 5, 2011

You Will Be Pleased To Know

I can move my head a little today. I was gonna lie and just tell Chef Man that I couldn't but then I'd kind of have to disappear when the landlord comes to inspect tomorrow. The head moving is both good and bad. It is good in that I can now actually see the shit around me. It is bad in that I can now actually see the shit around me.

How the FUCK does a tiny apartment get so MESSY? I mean fucking really? There's a DONUT (sorry, DONETTE, what a stupid fucking name) on the floor under a shoe. WHY? Was someone in here last night stealing powdered mini donuts and eating them in our footwear? I don't understand. Also - the kitchen? He brings dinner home almost every night. SO WHY THE FUCK IS THE STOVE FILTHY? I NEVER COOK ON IT.

I also got pain meds at the store last night (OTC, nothing good). I opened the bottle before to take one and noticed it was BLUE. Alarm bell. I read the label. They are IBUPROFEN PM. So yeah. I can clean or curl up on the floor next to the bucket and take a lil' nappy nap. And then when Chefman comes home and takes me to the institution I won't have to worry about cleaning. Because hospitals are sanitary.

Anyway, I didn't take the blue pill (wrong kind of blue pill, no little v anyway) so I have no excuse. I have to go douche my abode. Fuck. Me. Sideways. Happy fucking Labor Day.

2 comments:

I've lifted the post moderation, I don't want my readers to have it be a pain in the ass to see their post, and moderation destroys conversation on a subject, I can just delete the dicks, and we can laugh at them before I do.