And here I thought she was just breathing heavy.
Fucking seriously people. We live on Long Island. WESTERN SUFFOLK. So why the FUCK do you have to beat me up to get that last bottle of water? I wasn't even going for the water - I was going for the Dr. Pepper. I have a newslfash - we have automatic water. It's called a tap. You're not going to die of thirst if it FUCKING RAINS. I get the people with WELLS going batshit crazy but even at that - you should have been saving bottles to recycle, so just fill that shit up with tap water before the storm hits.
I love NY. I do. I will probably never leave unless I move back to Belfast or we get a great deal on an apartment and jobs in Barcelona. But honestly, the Long Island people make me nutty. And that's not a far trip. The minute they hear a weather warning on Channel 12, they flock to the retailers like it's the End Days. Guess what? THEY ARE NOT GOING TO STOP MAKING WONDER BREAD. And wtf are you gonna do with 80 gallons of milk if the electric goes (and you know it will because LIPA sucks ass)? Make yogurt? FUCK that noise.
We're prepared here in my little nook. We have coffee, Dr. Pepper, batteries for the big ass camping lantern that we never use for camping (because I hate dirt and bugs). We lose power? We eat all the ice cream, turn on the lantern and play Scrabble and UpWords in between bouts of sweaty monkey sex. I may go dance in the rain to wash off the sweat. But I REFUSE to go fight with old fat people in Spandex to get that last can of Deviled Ham (what the FUCK is that anyway? Potted meat - the English can keep that shit).
I'll update you on my ranting later.
This blog has absolutely no theme. It jumps from one rant to another, depending on how I slept the night before, whether or not I got laid, and how my jeans fit. If you're easily offended or don't like the word "fuck," or if you need to have your political correctness spoon fed to you, then you should probably leave now. Just in case the "adult content" thingy didn't tip you off.
I want my can of ham! LOL
ReplyDelete~Angela Cameron
Angela - it's not canned ham, It's DEVILED HAM. That nasty potted meat. But if you insisit, I'll get it out in the post on monday. And really? Open a fucking gmail account so you can join my blog and pimp me like the $5 crack whore I am.
ReplyDeleteHere I am biotch. <3
ReplyDeleteThanks hooka. Now get to pimpin'. Not that I make any money on this I just like the validation.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA
ReplyDeleteI always wonder wtf deviled ham is too! evil ham? That's what I think of.
bravo!
Seaofme, it's Satan in a can. It also apparently comes in handy snack packs. What. the. FUCK?
ReplyDelete